SOCIALIST CHRISTIANS: Dostoevsky's Fear or Hope? ~ discuss amongst yourselves.

~from Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, Book 2, Chapter 5, translated by Richard Peavear and Larissa Volokhonsky (pg 67) circa 1880.

Miusov describes his discussion with a spy - in larger context of debate about separation of Church and State:

Omitting the main essence of the conversation, I shall quote only one most curious remark that this person suddenly let drop: 'We are not, in fact, afraid of all these socialists, anarchists, atheists, and revolutionaries,' he said. 'We keep an eye on them, and their movements are known to us. But there are some special people among them, although not many: these are believers in God and Christians, and at the same time socialists. They are the ones we are most afraid of; they are terrible people! A socialist Christian is more dangerous than a socialist atheist.'

Discuss Amongst Yourselves.

While I play library-student and put the finishing touches on other Hot4Jesus posts, my book club reading brought to mind something I hear more and more about - Christian Socialists. Left-leaning Christians LOVE to describe how Jesus was a socialist kind of guy. I highly recommend that you put the quotation in context if possible - (for example - D appeared to die Orthodox Christian which evolved from a far-left youth) but if you can't/won't... it still is worthy of discussion.

So Discuss. Pros. Cons. Indifference. Jesus as Monster.
I insist... or I will send this your way:
500 foot Jesus found and described in detail in Uncyclopedia's article: "Attack of the 500 foot Jesus."

Jesus Statue Beheaded In 'Sconi: I DIDN'T DO IT!

St. Joseph's Church in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin is minus one marble head of Jesus. His body remains intact.

True, I collect Jesus art. Above is the Jesus head that started it all. I couldn't help but slap that caption on my handsome thrift store find - and the rest is herstory.

Let me make myself perfectly clear: IT WASN'T ME who sawed off Jesus' head for my growing collection.

This is NOT the type of head I'm accustomed to taking from Wisconsin!

Besides, from what I can tell of the story, the head that was stolen may have been a Baby Jesus head. Believe it or not, I don't like them THAT young. I don't have a single Baby Jesus in my collection - and would like to keep it that way for awhile.

______
read it and weep:
Head stolen from Jesus statue in SE Wisconsin church (8/19 Star Tribune).

(old pic - will refresh with new one once my camera's battery refreshes itself)

Jesus as Air Traffic Controller of Tornadoes and Other Gusts of Wind

I was determined to ignore the ELCA gay clergy drama, but like Jonah who had a worm kick his procrastinating ass out of his shade from the sun, the tornado ... well, God works in mysterious ways, don'tcha know?

As details of the path of the downtown Minneapolis tornado became public, I immediately went into symbolic, scriptural fundie mode. I don't like that part of my personality - the part that splits off and starts thinking fundie thoughts - but I went there, and immediately twitted out loud wondering if the ELCA would see this as a sign from God.

I know most Lutherans aren't that extreme. From my experience Lutherans tend to be sincere, loving, and excellent representatives of the Christian faith - Very Nice - but I also know they are kind of bland. This is ketchup-as-a-spice country after all.

I suppressed that little voice in my head that suspected fundamentalist believers would jump on this tornado with a half-dozen scriptures to back their theory of the tornado as a literal sign from God regarding homosexuality.

The fear metastasized... as heard in the voice of John Piper: The Tornado, The Lutherans, and Homosexuality . Piper is a pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis. The comments are full of Christians questioning his choice of scripture. I always get a kick out of watching Christians play hot-potato with other Christians. I don't play that game anymore - but if you're a believer, Piper makes a legitimate argument. He uses all New Testament scripture, my favorite being:

4. Jesus Christ controls the wind, including all tornados.

Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him? (Mark 4:41)

Who is this, that even the wind and sea obey him? No one knew who he was and we still don't. We don't even know if Gospels like Mark, chuck-full of miracles, are anything more than fictional exaggerations to create a narrative that proves a philosophical or historical argument of that particular disciple's school. Every disciple had his own set of followers. These are not stories about Jesus, these are stories about competing disciples. One gets the Oscar for Screenwriting, another gets the Oscar for Special Effects, another gets the Oscar for Casting. And one, as we find in the Gospel of Thomas, gets totally blown off - though he probably deserves the Oscar for Philosophical Accuracy.

Am I boiling down thousands of years of blood, sweat, prayers and tears to belittling anyone who takes passages of the bible literally?

Reminder to self: Love the Believer, Question the Belief.

But yes - it comes down to this - either you have faith or you don't. Who among the Christians battling out gay clergy doctrine, battling out signs of God from the sky, who among them can question the accuracy of John Piper?

I'd say none. I have less and less patience for Christians who don't claim other Christians because of differing opinions about how to interpret scripture.

But that's the Fundie in me ranting - either you're in or you're out. Either you believe Jesus/God/Holy Spirit was in that tornado, or you don't. Either you believe the ironic path of destruction was a delibrate, literal decision of God, or you don't.

Either you're a Baptist, or you're going to hell.

I'll take level 5 Holy Basil Spice any day over the Lutheran's Ketchup.

Yes - this is me publicly exorcizing my Baptist Demon that learned all about how to question the sincerity of Lutheran "faith." After all - they only sprinkle babies - BABIES! They know nothing about being dunked, plunged, fully immersed in the faith as Baptists.

No - I don't condone Piper and fellow "literal sign of God" believers. What I'm trying to say - as indelicately as possible - I find it ever more difficult to condone any of the believers.

Pray for me. jk

I do condone faith that is open to nonbelief. And thanks to Jay Bakker who was kind enough to twit me the link to Piper's blog. Sincere thanks to plenty of believers and non-believers alike out there who humor me with this public exorcism. Admit it - you can't help but watch.

For my more logical essay and more pics of the storm's aftermath and my experience with God and tornadoes, please consider reading: Prairie God of Destruction Visits Minneapolis: By Grace Are We Saved

When the Baptists and Lutherans duke it out heaven - who do you think would win?

Question to John Piper: how do you interpret the destruction divvied out on your pentecostal cousin: Minneapolis Gospel Temple - House of Refuge - Deliverance Center?

(On another note - someone needs to write a paper about steeples as phallic symbols.... see top photo. Hmmm... that sounds like a job right up my alley.... and an excellent way to exorcize demons. I think I'll give myself a raise.)

Prairie God of Destruction Visits Minneapolis: By Grace Are We Saved

The tornado that ran smack up into downtown Minneapolis knocked into more than one church, a rock and roll record store, countless flower pots, and a picket fence.

As I flip-flopped my way to the scene, I crossed paths with one of the delegates from the ELCA Convention – the place where the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America debated whether or not to allow the ordination of gay clergy who are in committed relationships. I was headed to the Electric Fetus, convinced that “God” had as much against rock and roll as the GLBT community. The delegate said that he had almost parked his car next to the Fetus, and was thankful he hadn't. As we discussed the potential destruction of “the Fetus," I almost said something entirely inappropriate to a total stranger about “the Fetus”… but bit my tongue.

Thankfully he changed the subject when he commented on my St. Olaf College sweatshirt.

St. Olaf is THE ELCA college. I didn’t tell him how much St. Olaf College and the ELCA corrupted me as a Fundamentalist Baptist. It was the place where I first tasted wine – during communion, the place where I first knew of a homosexual boy who proudly outed himself, the place where I first experienced liturgical dancing, the place where I first DANCED ever, and the place where I was dubbed retro-Disco Queen of my freshman floor.

Dancing and alcohol were not 100% forbidden in my Baptist circles, but strongly discouraged, and never in church. True- they argued - the OT talks about the Israelites/David who danced for joy before the Lord as worship, "but this is too much like a dance recital. We’re watching THEM dance.”

While the Big News Channels focus on Central Lutheran Church near the Minneapolis Convention Center and The Electric Fetus, everthything in-between is in danger of being skipped over. The tornado didn’t skip over everything in-between.

Down 4th Ave, a cul-de-sac street hugging 35W, trees were uprooted and the stained glass plates from the facade of the Minneapolis Gospel Temple – House of Refuge, Inc. – Deliverance Center – Pentecostal in origin – lay scattered all the way down to the corner where a red awning wrapped around a sign boasting a drug free zone.

I’ve passed by the Deliverance Center Jesus before, but the DC Jesus stands behind shatter proof plastic. You can barely see him. I’ve let him off the Hot-For-Jesus hook. Until now. Now the orange and red glass panes lay slivered up and down the street. DC Jesus made me look again – so here he is.

I talked to the Lady*** who lived in the connected Willa Grant Battle Center. The tornado attacked her picket fence, the shrub near the door, the awning, but not her white Caddy – thank god. "I just thought it was one of those big trucks driving by."

Around the corner, Somalian girls, covered head to toe, chattered about the fallen trees –

“My Tree is fine. I’m so glad my Favorite Tree didn’t get hit.”

“My Favorite Tree is gone. I’m so sad.”


Jim Schloemer works next to the Electric Fetus. He described how he felt the pressure in the air change. He had his head-phones on listening to music – and then looked up to see his coworkers running from the room as the roof above lifted up, just a bit, and bounced back down.

In 1998, the Comfrey-St Peter tornado found me much closer to the action than today's tornado. I know what it feels like to see the sky turn green, to hear a train coming through the middle of nowhere, to run to the basement, feel the pressure change - skewed gravity – like the world stands still - like the feeling your heart body gets when standing in front of a wall of speakers at a rock concert, or when a car drives by with the bass speakers shaking the entire pavement and every corner of your cells - feeling more than hearing.

I know what it is like to be totally helpless in the path of a tornado. There is not a damned thing you can do about it. I remember thinking, 'I’m praying that this will pass over and keep my family safe, but in my heart of hearts I know that I have absolutely NO control over this tornado.' It was the tornado that wiped out entire towns, Comfrey to St. Peter, and farms, including the one a brother worked at in 1998. My mom’s farm lost a tree, a few chunks of the roofing, some of the siding – but it passed just north of us.

Did my prayers keep the tornado from hitting us head-on?

No.

I now creatively dubb tornadoes as The Prairie God of Destruction… Our Kali. The Tornado God doesn’t give a shit about us. My prayers did NOT keep the tornado from striking our farm head-on. I’ve always worshipped trees – but even the Tree Gods are helpless in the path of the Tornado God. There is nothing we humans can do to stop it.

And there was nothing any Minneapolis resident could do to stop the tornado from hitting our city… nothing to do but hide or watch.

And that’s cool. Tornadoes are a refreshing reminder of Mortality and Chance and Total Chaos.

The best part of the tornado was to witness so many people not only gawking, but lending a hand to get things back to normal… the camaraderie… strangers talking to strangers…. everyone’s eyes, mine included, bugging out of our heads, looking at the aftermath of a bull in a china shop. Like the bridge collapse, the do-gooders of Minneapolis will shine through. No one was hurt. Thank god.

_____

Lutherans move toward more open view of gay marriage

***Unknowingly, I believe I may have talked directly to Willa Grant Battle - or someone who looks a lot like her. I should pay her a more formal visit - this lady looks like she has a great story to tell!

LOOKS THE PART, BUT DOES HE KNOW HOW TO SING?

From what I can tell, Charles Manson was a by-product of a strict religious upbringing.... exposed to both his grandparents' religious forcefulness and his mother's rebellion of their righteousness.

Christians will line up and say... 'But that's not MY fault. That's not MY Jesus.'

Maybe not. But he certainly looks the part.
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And since we're on the subject of Jesus Look-Alikes, I'm happy to announce I've finally pinned down an interview with one young man who looks the part. I've wanted to do this since the beginning of the blog... it's just that Jesus look-alikes are harder to pin down than the original.

I haven't played journalist since college, so I'm asking for a little patience and help. I have a wonderful collection of questions to ask the young man, but if there is a question you would like to ask of His Grace, please email it to me at cvyrnon(at)gmail(dot)com. If the question does not resemble any of the ones I've already picked, I'll plug you in the final product - if you so desire.

Behold, he is coming soon... and yes, I'm on a self-imposed deadline with this... though a day for me may be a month for you. Be watching and waiting.

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Jesus Manson stencil graffiti found on a Sunday stroll in Minneapolis with my yoga buddy.

PRIDE AFTERGLOW: Is it just me, or does the sky look green?

Last weekend, under the radar, a friend of mine and his long term boyfriend were kicked out of a cab because they kissed each other in the back seat.

Kicked out of a cab in downtown Minneapolis… during Pride… for kissing.

Life is rough. But it could have been worse. It could have been subzero weather.

This is the world we live in. A world obsessed with procreation and ways to keep it kosher. From my experience, kissing a boy in the back seat of a cab is very kosher. But I’m a girl.

One more thing to get riled up about, if I let it. We pick our battles. The two young men decided to not fight that battle. They got out of the cab and walked away.

What about the couple that was arrested for passing out bibles during the Minneapolis Pride festivities? Sounds like a violation of freedom of speech, but it is more complicated than that. They were denied a permit from previous years which they had used to pass out Bibles and inform Pride celebrants that homosexuality was a sin.... and that Jesus loves them.

I predict a potential mess of legal battles regarding the arrest, freedom of speech versus discrimination versus permits versus trespassing. Sounds a lot like how Christianity can’t come to a consensus of whether or not homosexuality is a sin.

The Christians who say the other Christians have it all wrong, in my opinion, are just sitting in judgment of their fellow Christians, which isn’t exactly kosher either. Way too much finger pointing going on. But they made this bed. Let them roll around in it.

During Pride Week, the Church closest to it all flew rainbow banners including a huge flag unfurled from a very expensive steeple. The Church south of it fights amongst themselves whether or not to allow gay clergy. The Church north of it is part of the catholic church, which is a hot _____ mess when it comes to this topic.

Last weekend while riding by one of many city corners, I saw a man physically and verbally abuse his female companion who was carrying a baby. Broad daylight. Now would be a good time to explain why a loving gay couple is not capable of raising children in a healthy, hell - even Christian, environment.

Yes, I live in a city. These kinds of things happen under the radar all the time. What’s the big whoop, right?

One of our gods died over the weekend. Remember how the more androgynous he became, the more we demonized him?

Are we animals still hardwired with machismo to think that anything that stands in the way of procreation should be considered a threat? Female independence. Women who lead men (thereby emasculating them). Men and women who use contraception. Men and women who have sex with the same gender, once again circumventing procreation.

And in the meantime the two most popular searches that lead people to my blog are… “percentage spit or swallow” and “Pastor Melissa Scott is sexy/hot.” One could say I do my small part in keeping things kosher.

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Links to Very Cool! slogans regarding religion and homosexuality.

TopPun Rainbow Store: Religion - Spirituality

CafePress Gay Pride Day 2 Day store where you can buy many versions of the Love the Heterosexual, Hate the Sin slogan or Rainbow Jesus.

City Pages Blotter article: Bible-distributing family arrested at Pride Festival ... within the article's comments, a friend of the Johnsons claims that at no point did the family tell Pride attendees that homosexuality was a sin... which might be true. I can imagine any number of conversations that led Pride celebrants to think otherwise. This could get messy.

I'M COMING OUT, ONE DAY AT A TIME

**As I watch the tents go up, and the flags unfurl, I’m slightly envious of the GLBT men and women in my life who have a whole weekend dedicated to their Pride. Though I know there are many LGBT folks who have no time for and no respect for any religion, there are plenty that are batting for one Theist/Deist team or the other.

Coming out Atheist, pride fits, and it doesn’t. I’m coming out but with a great deal of humility.

I was born atheist. Without a god. We all are. I also was born again. And again. I was given the choice to believe, or not to believe. And I chose to believe as deeply as one can. My Christian walk confronted a few doubts that I easily overcame making my faith even stronger. I eventually trended left, until I trended right out of the ballpark.

I don’t play the Theist/Deist game anymore. Neither do I want to play the game of New Age Higher Power Bullshit. And in all honesty, I don’t want to play the game of Atheist Asshole.

My grandfather on my dad’s side was an atheist. Though not perfect, he was one of the kindest men I’ve ever known. Atheism didn’t make him kind – it was his personality. When his son, my father, left the traveling musician life for a settled down musician’s life, he broke my grandpa’s heart. At the same time, dad also denied his father’s atheism and his mother’s middleclass Methodist life for full-blown born-again Christian. Though dad fought the conversion/spirit, ultimately the burgeoning evangelical movement gathered him under their wing. It was a double whammy for grandpa.

As I examine my born-again and atheist roots, I wonder: are we as a nation, world, trending toward sustainable non-belief, or are we setting ourselves up for a new generation to rebel against our non-belief?

Look at Iran. Once gung-ho about their theocracy, they rebelled against a secular, corrupt monarchy. Now they are in the process of changing their mind about their previous rebellion. It seems like such a vicious circle.

Though I become ever more “proud” of my life without any god, I worry how the pendulum swings and thuds more than a few people over the head on the up-swing and then again on the down-swing. My Buddhist sympathies do not have patience for the atheist upswing. I’d prefer to just sit and watch the pendulum sway.

Recently I came out atheist to some family members who I thought already knew. I’ve broken a few hearts. I will continue to break hearts. My severe empathy streak means it hurts me to see others hurt. An empathetic life requires carefully placed calluses.

Within my "soul" searching, I struggle with the habit of suppressing my desire to join anything. But I am putting up the Scarlet A, for now. I’ve not felt the need, yet, to read any more than two of Sam Harris’ books on atheism. Though I know the atheist elite include some very very wise men and women, I couldn't care less about Dawkins and the other luminaries of The Out Campaign. The branding bothers me. But here I go… adding my name to the Atheist Blogroll… for a trial period… a trial period that expires and renews one day at a time.

“One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That’s all I’m asking from you
Give me the strength to do everything that I have to do
Yesterday’s gone, sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time.”

So I’m asking you… the Collective Consciousness to do just that, with me, with each other. Vote on my poll>. Comment. Help me help you (wink). Be kind.

Yes, I fear the crowd that is attracted to the Scarlet A. Both sides are capable of making fools out of themselves.I see fear in the eyes of both. Anger in both. Pride in both… and not all Pride is pretty.

When my atheist grandfather died I was 10. I had already asked Jesus into my heart, pre-public declaration and baptism, and I knew I was a child of God and that if I died I would go to heaven. I was devastated to find out that my grandfather who I loved so dearly had no qualms about proclaiming his lack of God/Christ/Holy Spirit. When my parents told me that he would Not be in heaven, it broke my heart.

My born-again father died suddenly and “too young” when I was 14. But his Faith in Christ defined his every waking hour. He KNEW where he was going after death. And when death took him so quickly, I knew he was going to heaven.

I didn’t stay and grow within Christ for 13 more years just to be reunited with loved ones in heaven. I stayed and grew because I believed Christ’s love, teachings, sacrifice and resurrection was all that mattered.

So what do I believe today?

My born-again father and my atheist grandfather are in the same place. They lay side by side on the prairie. It just so happens that one is a little more decayed than the other.

I will continue to love deeply. I will continue to wrestle with my empathy. I will continue to break the hearts of believers who love me. I will continue to love the Jesus who taught me to take
One
Day
At
A
Time.



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**Die Heilige Dreifaltigkeit - Painting/Poster - for those who weren't taught the german version of "silent night," I'll give you a clue... Heilige means Holy. Good luck with the rest.

I HAVE DECIDED TO FOLLOW @JESUS: A Guide to Recognizing The Real Deal on Twitter

In the fundamentalist circles, I was taught that the devil and his demons mislead Christians who have the best of intentions. The devil is deceptive. He’s the wolf in sheep’s clothing. He is the most beautiful of fallen angels. He is capable of leading us all down the wrong path. He props up false prophets who place roadblocks and detours throughout our faith journey.

In an effort to not be led down the wrong path, I am testing the Twitter spirits to decipher which Jesus on Twitter is the Real Deal, or biblically speaking, separating the wheat from the chaff, or culling the herd in less biblical language.

What are my criteria?

@Jesus was Jewish, so there must be some evidence of that.

@Jesus performed miracles, so I’m looking for a Jesus that performs subtle or large scale miracles never performed before. BEWARE! False prophets are quite adept at tapping into the tools of the devil and leading people astray with illusions and slights of hand. Test the Twitter spirit!

@Jesus loves me. He loves you too. How does he demonstrate his love on Twitter? We don’t want Jesus stalking us, after all we know he believes in free will, but we do want Jesus showing unconditional love (whatever that is). We’re looking for a little reciprocation here. Does he return your DMs or respond to your @ prayers? If not, best to cut your losses and move on to the next Jesus.

@Jesus wants to dwell in my heart. Has he knocked on my virtual door yet?

@Jesus has a thick martyr streak. Is he willing to be thrown under the bus for the redemption of humankind? What kind of controversial topics is he engaged in that may set him up for scapegoat status? Current topics on his Twitter account might include homosexuality, pro-life vs pro-choice, the middle east, taxes, separation of church and state, or your mom.

@Jesus was smart. Does Jesus post well worded, grammatically correct updates?

@Finally: Contrary to popular opinion and this blogger’s fantasy, Jesus was NOT that good looking. Does his avatar reflect this?

I test the spirits on Twitter to see what kind of response I get from the many Jesuses claiming to be Jesus. You should do the same.

Take a moment and search your heart:

What characteristics do you look for in the real Jesus? Are you a follower of Jesus who places importance on his ability to forgive all sins outside the sin against the Holy Spirit? Does your own personal Jesus stop you from doing stupid stuff, or does he let you get by with murder, only to forgive you later? Is your own personal Jesus more of a warrior, nerd, or a rebellious threat to the status quo? Does he help with the dishes or prefer that you sit at his feet and listen to his wisdom in a meditative state? Works or Grace?

For those of you already on Twitter, my starter kit of Jesuses for your browsing pleasure are listed below. Some of these Jesuses write blogs that allow for deeper study of his true intentions.

baconjesus
iphoneJesus
OfficialJesus
Jesus_M_Christ
kingofthejews
tweetus_christ
openjesus
JesusHChrist

There are other Jesus figures I follow on twitter, such as Jay Bakker, Gael Garcia Bernal and ThankYouJesus.

Each #Follow Friday I’ll introduce a new Jesus worthy of online worship on my teandoranges Twitter account. It's the one Twitter gimmick in which I participate.

Have I overlooked a gem of a Twitter Jesus? Let me know! After all, I don’t want to fall for the wrong god.

I Have Decided To Follow Jesus
“though none go with me, I still will follow
though none go with me, I still will follow
though none go with me, I still will follow
no turning back
no turning back”

Famous.Last.Words.

O HOWE I LOVE JESUS: Fashion for the Growing Boy

For you hipster boy-men ready to grow up and start doing the work of your Father....

Number One: Give yourself a break. Jesus didn’t hit his prime until his early to mid 30’s.

Number Two: You can make that transition in your own Personal Jesus suit by the Hause of Howe for a mere $250. Number Three: Good luck in looking as hot as Howe’s Jesus-look-alike model.

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Top pic (Howe) from LATimes "All The Rage" blog article by Melissa Magsaysay
Bottom pic from Jade Howe's blogspot blog: http://www.doyouknowhowe.blogspot.com/

Buy Online:

Spring Collection 2009 : http://www.hauseofhoweclothing.com/

Fall Collection 2009: http://www.hauseofhowe.com/

Jesus In My Hood: Stretching The Local Canvas

Ary Scheffer’s “Christus Consolator” recently caused a stir at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts (MIA). Quite revered in its heyday, circa 1837, even an inspiration to Van Gogh, Scheffer painted "Christus" copies that sold around the world. One found its way to rural Minnesota, and hence the recent unveiling at the MIA. As I stood in front of “Christus Consolator” I noticed that the composition, detail and plot were delightful, but I failed to see the charm, perhaps because “Christus Consolator” has to compete with sensual, modern, macho Jesus art that has the son-of-god doing heroin. (Stephen S. Sawyer version of "Calvary")
Which reminds me of the “The Cross and the Switchblade”(1970). If anything turned me off from a life of glamorous drug use, that movie did. Thank you, Jesus! And Officer Poncherello!

Heroin Jesus in connection to Minnesota? I live in The Land of Ten Thousand Treatment Centers, Sober-Club City. Some of my best friends are NA, AA, or just plain MIA.

But I digress.

Which reminds me of "This American Life", the TV series. To be honest, Ira Glass's formula for story telling has also lost its charm. Blasé. The piece on Jesus painter Ben McPherson, in “God's Close Up” (2007), I found tolerable. Basically this guy goes around Utah like a regular old Norman Rockwell, looking for bearded men to model for his Jesus series. McPherson is a connoisseur of beards. I’m a bit jealous. Ironically, the girl who dates the HOT Atheist Jesus model has left the (Mormon) faith… so the story is about her too. If she gets too uncomfortable with her boyfriend as Jesus, as apparently she is, I’d be glad to take on her Wifely Duties with Him.

You ask, how can I claim this “This American Life” episode as a representation of local art? PRI has a Minnesota mommy. Ira Glass would be SOL without us Minnesotans. Thanks to the first public radio station EVER… WCAL. (BTW, I can fit more acronyms into this paragraph if you insist...)

At least McPherson’s Hot Atheist Jesus Model is not put in compromising poses as Thomas Blackshear likes to do with his Jesus. “Forgiven”(1992): Another modern day homo-erotic classic. I own a book dedicated to this painting. I know I'm stretching it, but some of my best friends are.... you guessed it... which makes this painting Minnesotan enough for me.

Finally, check out Minnesota artist Jessie DeCorsey. I enjoy her work over coffee. The iconic art-nouveau-ish gold leaf backgrounds and borders compete with photo-realistic portraits of ordinary people as saints and biblical characters. Her work allows me to indulge my soft spot for realism, though there is a bit too much realism going on for my taste. Don’t worry, right next to my soft spot for realism is a much larger soft spot for surrealism. It’s just harder to indulge when talking about HOTTIE Jesus art.

My favorite of DeCorsey's paintings is “Adam and Eve.” They watch me read the newspaper when I'm too lazy to make coffee at home. I also enjoy studying her remake of “The Last Supper”. Jesus is very modern… an unbearded (5’oclock shadow) short-haired blond… a cross between Thom Yorke and Chris Martin. Cute.

I've always wanted a reason to reference Thom Yorke on this blog. Thank You, Jessie!

If I had to guess, and I do, I’d guess Jessie DeCorsey comes with catholic baggage. But catholic baggage makes for decent contemporary icon paintings. Once again, I’m only guessing. If I actually gave her a call and straight out asked her, “are you catholic?”… well, that would be too much like original reporting for this half-assed blogger. And a bit creepy.

On that note, still waiting for Minnesotan Dan Lacey to come out with a Pancake-On-Jesus series. Come on Dan... you know you want to.
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Looking forward: I'm semi-excited about the Pre-Raphaelite "Sin and Salvation" exhibit coming to the MIA June 14th. Will keep you posted about how I feel about one of the original Jesus Knocking on Your Door pics.... assuming I don't fall into a dead faint at his feet.
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(if you prefer a link-free, picture-free post, see below)